It turns out he's a green anole lizard. They like to eat grasshoppers and crickets -- something they have in common with my dog. Apparently they don't eat veggies, so I suspect he's on my plants because he's after the little black ants crawling all over the place. I guueeeesssss that's okay. But I'm still mad at him. I tried so hard to shoo him away! I yelled at him, I whined at him, I bargained with him, I told my dog she had to help (which she didn't; she just sniffed the ground and was a totally useless helper). My neighbor even had to poke his head out his door to see what I was freaking out about! I chased that little douche (the lizard, not my neighbor) all over that plant and he still wouldn't leave. I told you he was obnoxious. Here are some of the best pictures from our battle:
His butt is on my vegetables! I will definitely be washing my bell peppers before I eat them.
Look at this little douche rolling his eyes at me, like he's thinking, "Who me? I'm just a cute little lizard, keeping these bell peppers warm with my stinky lizard butt. Don't mind me." I hate him and his sassy eye-rolling.
Okay, lizard... You may have won this battle this time, but you're going down if you start eating my vegetables.
